My soul hurts, yeah that’s right, I said my soul. There is this place inside of me that always seems to be empty, that nothing can fill it. Not love, not hate, not joy, not sadness, not friendship, not anything, it is just there, quietly making its presence known, reminding me that something is missing. I have tried so many things to fill it, food, drink, drugs, alcohol, sex but at the end of the day…..it is still there, this lonely, empty place that I have come to know as the Void.
I know why the Void exists as much as I try to pretend that I don’t, it exists because God put it there. He created this place inside of me that no one can ever fill no matter how hard they may try or how badly I want them to. He made this emptiness too deep so that I would realize no human could ever meet that need. He wants me to know the hunger I have will never will never go away unless I turn all of this over to Him. And so after 46 years of crying, kicking, screaming….I will accept that I belong to Him first, last and always, that only He can satisfy the longing of my soul and if I allow Him to heal the broken places that live within me, the void will cease to be The Void and will begin to be my sacred place where I can be alone with the Lover of my Soul.